After Midnight

Last Friday, Before Midnight was released. I’ve waited quite a few years for this film, ever since I accidentally stumbled on Before Sunrise, and subsequently fell in love with Before Sunset. Few movies operate in real time, so seeing the story age with the characters was a unique experience. Plus, add in the phenomenal story and you have a recipe for the best romance movie ever, and my personal favorite film. It topped Almost Famous, which I thought was the be-all, end-all of movies. My personal goal was to have a date for the movie, and to my surprise, I had one.

Until she cancelled on me after midnight the day before.

I ended up seeing the movie alone, but I bought out the screening so I could truly watch it alone. It was a bit lonely and sad, seeing as I thought “The One” had gotten away, yet again, rinse, lather, repeat. Another defeat for the scorecard. But the movie was good, and I spent my weekend relaxing with my old salsa gang, since the band was truly breaking up. Graduations mean we are growing old. So much to ponder. But we partied like it was 2009 all over again. We didn’t have the full roster, but we did things that made our past selves proud.

And then, I had my first awkward moment in years. I ran into the girl who jilted me. I haven’t gone dancing on Mondays in ages, and last night was my impetus not to do so in the future. I was telling the story of what happened, and she walked through the door. Very odd sight to see me quiet, and everyone knew something epic transpired. She sat next to me, I said nothing, but my face betrayed my stoicism.  I caved and asked her what she wanted, and she replied friendship saving her a song. I said okay on both counts to acknowledge her words. I had no intention of complying with either request. Besides, I was in no condition to dance since her presence effectively killed my mojo. I skipped out early, and waved farewell to her and my other friends. When asked my reason, I bluntly stated that her presence screwed me up. I knew then the Jericho schedule loomed. When I returned home, I wrote her a missive explaining what happened and why we couldn’t be friends. I’m not a fan of those letters, but I’m quite good at writing them, and the rules come first. I wonder how awkward things will be in the future. Maybe I’ll be too busy writing the next letter to know. Skibbedebebop. Much later.

Current Track – AFI “Prelude 12/21”

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Twenty-Fuck Years of Age

I turned twenty-five. Still single. Damn.

As many of you should know by now, I loathe my birthday. I haven’t coherently celebrated it since 1994 when the Green Ranger showed up at my party and gave me the Dragon Dagger. I’ve never been fond of celebrating because this is the time when school and work get real. Standardized testing, final papers, presentations, AP exams, and very intense work issues prevent me from enjoying the fact that I eluded another assassination attempt. Every year, this day means I’m about to go for a ride that leaves me feeling numb. Today’s no different, since I’m scheduled for a meeting to discuss windows (roughly 1300 at last count) that I designed, yet were installed installed incorrectly, and someone wants a warranty because of their stupidity. And I’m tying my tie knowing full well this would be a lot easier if Virgin Mobile didn’t decide to screw me out of phone service. Not to mention the fact that I’ve never wanted my birthday off since I’ve always been alone. I’ve asked for the same thing for my birthday and Christmas for years, and never got it, so this isn’t a particularly a day I look forward to since birthday sex has never been in the equation ( he says semi-sarcastically…okay, not sarcastically at all, he’s REALLY not happy about that). In fact, I walk around depressed for seven months of the year when all these holidays hit that are couple friendly, starting at Halloween and ending today. It’s like clockwork to be honesty. But there is a bright side to all of this. I wake up today knowing that somehow, my situation is going to get worse. There’s going to be an unforseen crisis that could only happen to me, and I’m going to need a way to talk myself out of it. It will make great fodder for a story later, which I’ll ponder “why are these people laughing at a situation that obviously caused me multiple panic attacks?” Then I’ll remember that I have panic attacks all the time due to, well, the price of being me. I can’t say I’m not proud of being able to state “I’m fine” on the inside while muttering “ohnonotagain” on the inside. If you watch the hamsters in my head, they’re on the best meth money can buy, because that’s the only way I can continue doing what I do and still say “eh, it’ll get worse later.” People have goal lists of some sort and check things off when they’ve accomplished goals. I have a list that includes everything from “getting a principal fired” to “outsmart Bill Cosby” to “defeat the world’s best chess player”, and this is all crap I’ve done before I was 11 years old. Naturally, I find myself asking “did I peak before puberty?” The answer is yes. I’ll never be as awesome as I was before puberty. As I add and scratch things off my list (after the fact; I didn’t know visiting Madison Square Garden was on my list until I did it), I look at the other side of the list of things to do, and it reads like it has for years: “get a girlfriend”. The more things change, the more they stay the same. As if it couldn’t get any worse, I hear rain outside; I can’t drop the top on my drive to Beverly Hills. So, on this day, I’d like for you to wish a very special Anthony a happy birthday. You know, Tony Blair, former British Prime Minister (not sarcastically, he was a great leader and we share a birthday). Say a prayer for the troops, do something awesome, and never take a risk that wouldn’t result in a hilarious aside later. As for me, I’m waiting for my favorite day of the year, May 7th. I’ll work on my graphic novel, hoping today I can finally write the line where I superkick God and there’s not an earthquake or power outage in my room. *drops microphone*

And my family bought a birthday cake and ate it without me.

Current Track – Civil Twilight “Human”