Three Years

As of 12:01am, my restraining order ended.

I don’t know how to sum up my thoughts on the matter. There are a few truths that I can state.

1. I’m glad that I won’t have to answer questions about a girl whenever the police pull me over for driving while black.
2. Each time I tell the story, I’m a bit more crushed. Definitely a painful chapter without any true consequences.
3. I’ll always wonder “what if” concerning if I had stayed away, especially regarding grad school.
4. I wasn’t demonized at all by people who knew me. This still shocks me for obvious reasons.
5. I wonder if I’ll be able to trust a woman in a romantic capacity.
6. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to find a woman in a romantic capacity.
7. If repeating history is enough to break curses, I hope my return to Arizona destroyed ghosts.
8. Skylar and I were probably headed for a split before this happened. I’m going to assume this event did us both a favor.
9. I had too much self-examination. I could really go without it for the next few years.
10. I no longer need to name each belt after a girl that I pursued.
11. Blood is thicker than water, and still waters run deep. That should mean something by now.
12. If we stayed together, I probably wouldn’t have been committed to losing weight.
13. Salsa is the cause of every problem I’ve had since 2006.
14. I’ll never know everything about how other people think, and that bugs me.
15. When bad things happen, catch your breath and carry on. The world won’t end without your permission.
16. Rose tinted glasses aren’t a bad way of looking at things, and pictures should be treasured.
17. I know you’re reading this, Pippa. While I hope that we will talk again one day, I understand that may never happen. I still love you, and thank you for the time we shared.

Skibbedebebop. Much later.

Current Track – The Used “Yesterday’s Feelings”


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