Gunning

Greed is the root of all evil. Or so said the opening of Mortal Kombat 3, if I’m correct. The more things change, the more things stay the same. That’s not from Mortal Kombat, but that’s apt for what I’m thinking at the moment. I’m not one for people prying into my thoughts, because it’s hard as sin for anyone to do it correctly. Yes, that includes myself. Luckily for me, the people around me give me fodder for my thoughts.

I’ve been clear on how I feel about the grad school experience; it was a pain in the ass, and probably ended horribly to teach me a lesson on how to survive. As for my classmates, I wasn’t a fan of a couple of them since I found out my academic history was hacked, and the other was dumb enough to try to tell me how to think. I’ll never forget her saying that me hating her is wrong. No, you making me want to hate you is wrong. No one hates anyone organically; they must be taught to hate. And I’m not going to glorify hate, but I’d be lying if I said the world would be better off with everyone loving each other unconditionally. That is not a possible outcome. Back to the point, one of my classmates defended his thesis and celebrated at a tavern. I didn’t tell people I was showing up, so I arrived unannounced, but heralded. I haven’t seen those folks in three months, and I had a blast mingling among my former contemporaries. I still don’t know whether it’s proper for me to denote them as “former” seeing as I’m still considered one of them, just not enrolled. We drank. We joked. We showed improper photos on our smartphones. Alright, the last one was me, but still, it was hilarious. What have I been doing all this time since I’ve been away? Getting ass, he said bluntly. Same asshole, same humor, just half the size. Grad school was a social experiment that rubbed me the wrong way. Still, my forced family was the best group I could’ve asked for, knowing my luck with the alternative. Speaking of old people getting in contact with me…

Skylar sent me a message, which led to a 40 minute conversation. Again, don’t hate the guy. He was a brother to me. I just did not appreciate his tendency of running. I interpreted his running as a sign of cowardice, and it’ll probably take some convincing to brainwash me otherwise. We all have hard times. Hell, I’ve had harder times than most of my friends combined. Scratch that, all of my friends. But I never dug a spider hole for myself; I faced it, and let everyone know that I’m not doing well. But the fences are mended, and he may or may not return to salsa. I’d be happy if he came around, yet I’m at peace with a different outcome. I think Bill Parcells said it best when he says “you are who you are.” I can’t expect people to change because I haven’t changed. It’s just that my way of doing business is better. Or so I tell everyone else.

As for my personal life, I could laugh. And then laugh some more. Screw it, I’ve got Miami coming up. I promise not to deal with anything remotely consequential until after I return. Which means there’s a chance I’d ignore it after I return, because the more I think about things, the more I laugh. I had high hopes three months ago when life began again. Three months later in the present, and I can tell there’s definitely been some change. Not as smooth as I wanted, or convenient as I needed. Yet word on the street is that I’ve calmed the hell down by turning my personality way the hell up. I know what I want. I know what I must do to get there. And I’ll take care of that after Miami because I’m feeling lazy. Skibbedebebop. Much later.

Current Track – Katy Perry “E.T.”

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