Penalty

The honeymoon’s over as I prepare to submit my bid for the greatest person to walk this planet. I’ve hit a couple snags in the last couple of weeks, but that’s more or less due to the weird luck I have concerning the fairer sex. I’ve forgotten about those matters since the new toy is in the garage, but I’ll be damned if other forces did not pursue interference. One situation, I’d like to apologize for, but the other party happens to be stubborn and filled with righteous indignation. In another case, the other party holds a double standard and shows remorse for her actions, yet I’m bugged with the act. It’s always easier to say you’re sorry when you screwed someone else over. Hmmm, I think I just committed a double standard myself. No, not quite, but there is a bit of confusion going on in my head. And of course, I remember the girl from last year. In a little over a month, we’d celebrate our anniversary.

Fast forward and I’m dealing with questions that I don’t want answered. Hell, I don’t want those questions asked either. This is the alleged “time of my life” but I feel distracted with regards to what I could be possibly doing with my time. I like my job, but the office isn’t all that comforting. There are whispers that I’m hard to get along with, yet no one wants my perspective about the situation. Of course they don’t want my opinion, because my tone and attitude rubs people the wrong way. Care if I’m being rubbed the wrong way? And no, I don’t believe in smiling, forgiving, forgetting, etc.

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t is the gun pointed towards me. Sure, I could acquiesce and be nicer…but that’s not me. Sure, I could be quiet…but then that wouldn’t be true to my core, and people would become suspicious. How do I know? Tried it today, and next thing you know, I’m on the receiving end of a frantic text apology. I do not hide the mistakes I’ve made, but my candid nature goes both ways. I had issues when I opined I hated being single, but when I now say that I’m better now because of the Mustang, I get pegged as shallow and shortsighted. The car isn’t a substitute for a decent relationship, but it is quite a prize that people say I deserve. I also deserve a partner who has my back…or a supportive, nonjudgmental cohort. The road to greatness will be paved over the bones of those who disbelieve. I got into the program based on my own merits. I bought my car with my own capital. Damn it, I will succeed with my own style. I’d much rather have a staff surround me, but I’ve gotten my (rightful) reputation by taking on (and down) any challenger. Triple H once said that he had a one way ticket to hell and wondered who would come with him. I feel the same way, yet this time…it’s unscripted. Skibbedebebop. Much later.

Current Track – Mutemath “Typical”

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