If the bridge between high school and college was supposed to be a shock, then I got hit by a thunderstorm at grad school.
Trust me when I say that this has been nothing less than a complete shock to my system. Now, I’m at the same university; nothing’s changed about the brick and mortar…if there was any in the first place. The faculty is vaguely familiar, since I’ve seen them in passing. My wardrobe has improved considerably, but I’m assuming that’ll pass in a few weeks. Professors treat me like an adult. Students refer to me as “Mr. Guy.” I park on the top floor of the structure, knowing that I’ll arrive after dark. Speaking of which, it’s mandatory that I stick with my cohort at all times, and I don’t mind. This is a growing experience. I’ve grown up in the span of one week.
Still, there are things that cause growing pains. For some reason, my body is failing me in ways that were once temporary. My sleeping pattern has been extremely erratic, since I can’t stay awake to save my life. Grief has racked my mind over a couple of matters that are hit or miss. Alright, one matter is definitely a miss, but eh, what the hell. The other…I saw Pippa right before I went to teach my third class. That felt awkward and threw me off my game for a mile. There were times when I begged my mind to feel some sort of emotion, such as when I received word of my father’s death. Now, I’m begging not to feel, because this isn’t exactly the time I need to feel anything other than ruthless aggression.
Back to the good…I think I’m going to like this grad school thing. I went from being an elder statesman to being the elder statesman. I did my work with Salsa Club, and I did well. Next stop, I have to prove myself to be phenomenal with teaching. So far, my students love me. I displayed a side of my personality that would net me a girlfriend if I did it consistently. I came across as honest, raw, sarcastic, witty, and self-aware. I allowed and encouraged my students to give me the universal sign for “I don’t approve.” I ripped them for major choices. I asked them to clap when I told them they could all fail. I…did everything that I should have done. My original plan was to have a series of guest hosts, but that fell through, so I rocked out with my…damn it, I’m a professor, I can’t say that anymore! It was highly unorthodox, which goes well with the students that were there. Some were boring, stiff, and quiet; others wouldn’t shut up. They all bought the system. Score.
I made a passing joke to my mentor, who said we’ll be colleagues when I get my PhD and only then, not a moment sooner. That’s something for me to look forward to, I suppose. I don’t need to be the crown jewel of this department, but being a part of the most prolific class would be nice. My social life has been forced into submission at the moment, but somehow, I look forward to disconnecting from certain people and situations that might cause me a headache. Or, maybe I’m lying. I am, however, excited that I kinda/sorta have a secretary that I like and interests me. In fact, that’s the most pleasant surprise…an ass for the ass. Jenkies. Skibbedebebop. Much later.
Current Track – Angels & Airwaves “Soul Survivor (…2012)”