Judicial Affairs

If a person ever says to you that one person can’t make a difference, grab a gun and beat them with it until a bone breaks. Then, when they ask for the reason why you did it, respond “I am one person and I just made a difference.”

Yesterday morning, I received an invite to go to Judicial Affairs. Well, it wasn’t so much an invite as it was ‘if you don’t come, we will screw you over.” Why was I on the other end of this missive? Simple: Pippa. If I had a major for each time I’ve had a run-in with the higher-ups due to her, well I’d have two majors. Needless to say, I don’t want this approaching my belt total, because that would be more times I’ve needed to see the cops for anything. The story picks up where most of my stories with her left off, an argument.

I didn’t know whether she was serious about the whole not contacting me again thing, because she’s done it before. Back when we dated, she used to wonder why I would intently survey random people. It was far from random, because I was deciphering tendencies. When a person’s tendencies are figured out, they become easier to understand, not leaving you with many surprises. Naturally, I thought this was her tendency to overreact to a small matter, so I tried contacting her. Didn’t pick up the first time, nor the multiple times that followed. Left a few messages. Tried visiting her, anything I could for her to just listen to me. Yeah, bad health helps the case plenty, because I enjoy my increasingly svelte frame that comes with being unable to eat. My attempts at reconciliation were rewarded with a cop calling me asking for my presence. Yep, I found myself on the wrong end of authority yet again with full thanks to Pippa. I should have been smarter, but love and a disappointing senior year makes you see things plenty differently.

As for how deep I’m in, I went to Judicial Affairs to plead my case. I turned over every detail I could consider, which was more detail than he needed to know, I’m sure. My memory never seems to fail me in a critical situation, and this time was no different. I spilled about everything we did, the likelihood of running into her, etc. After the discussion, I’m completely in the clear. Having a track record as a a citizen of the university doesn’t hurt matters. The strangest thing about the case is just how much influence I’ve had on her. Her minor happens to be my major, picked up dance because of me, succeeded in debate because of my tutelage, and has picked her full schedule for the next academic year with my consulting. There’s an interesting case for me to say I’ve been a victim of identity theft, or at the least, gimmick infringement. Never thought someone would find my life interesting enough to mimic, but I also never thought the school would view me with caution due to one girl. I’ve been advised to stay away from her, and I’m quite positive I can heed those words. However, I get the weirdest feeling this isn’t over, and my weird feelings leave me with one thought. I taught her everything she knew, but not everything I know. How do you defeat someone who plays four steps ahead of the curve? Get lucky. Since I’m not Irish, your luck is no good here. Skibbedebebop. Much later.

Current Track – Shaman’s Harvest “Broken Dreams”


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