I’m a bit bruised, battered, beaten up, and fit for summary execution. As of today, I am halfway through this session of summer school, which also means I am 3/4ths of the way done with the most grueling part of my trek towards infamy. During this stretch, I’ve run into a few inconvenient truths, none of which involve my considerable talents.
I’ve been given the message that my personality is overly aggressive and intimidating. This is not news, but it was discomforting to hear after finishing a pitcher of…some unknown beer that was free, yet tasted great. I wonder how I have gotten to the point that I can stare down a safety on the sidelines and scare him off the field. More accurately, a classmate has avoided me because of my intimidating presence; the part that pisses me off is that I do not know her, yet she’s scared. If someone has a problem with you, it’s only fitting that they address it in person instead of cowering for no apparent reason. I keep hearing confidence is sexy, but somewhere, I’m not walking the fine line between confidence and arrogance. I have no problem with being called arrogant, as it brings a need to back up all claims, which I have done in a convincing manner. In class, I am the first pick of any group discussion or seminar because I bring something to the table that people can’t or won’t do. I have only realized a fragment of inner potential, and I’m sharing it with the world. People must not be familiar with the Allegory of the Cave…because they’re blind. ZING!
The second inconvenient truth ties in nicely with the last, because it involves a girl repeating what was previously stated. Now, when Laura said it, I’m not sure if I gave it too much weight; I listened, but not sure if I ever gave it the proper respect I should have. But when I heard the same thing verbatim from another girl who I am very interested in, I have to stop back and look in the mirror. She said her first impression of me was “arrogant, cocky, full of himself, my way or the highway…” and so forth. Although I brush such comments off, I had to beg the question: if my personality is so sharp, why hang out with me?
Because I enjoy talking to you.
Frankness has a place in society, and it is truly a thankless job. No one will ever toast the guy that says “scorch the earth, win later.” However, once this advice proves beneficial, the origin becomes unimportant. The true slight came when we delved into my personal life a bit more after she expounded upon hers. Why do girls love telling me about the sex they’ve had that more or less won’t involve me unless I go through with Event Omega? I find it disrespectful that I’m considered that good of a friend, but not that good of a friend. It’s very easy for me to decide to cut off girls as friends for this very reason: being an also-ran is not in my plans. After hearing my ears raped assiduously by my new <friend>, she critiqued my mating patterns. Simply put, there is no shame in keeping pursuit if you’re batting 0-1000. And then, she asked me if I had my eye on anyone. I could have sworn I asked if she was single last month; I guess being a friend isn’t worth a bucket of warm spit.
To make matters worse, I fucked up my knee in my dance return. It looks bad; I should probably have it checked out. Skibbedebebop. Much later.
Current Track – Whitney Houston “Didn’t We Almost Have It All”