Conspiracy of One: Return to Parkside

Watching TMZ, I realize that maybe this life isn’t as cracked up as it should be. First week back to school has been refreshing, but at the same time, I haven’t slept much. I could probably blame the new roommate for such, but I won’t, because honestly, I could be an insomniac. If only I could be a spy being deprived of sleep…they would NEVER crack me.

NEVER!

But back to being me, I think the adjectives that describe me are the same: bitter, brash, and pensive. Since I’m single, the first adjective remains true; also, the fact that Jared has a different perspective on politics and other gneral Guy philosophy. Brash pertains to my return to social dance. I told all the girls that they’d be fighting to dance with me, and as always, I did not disappoint. Potential opportunity Keri was there, but I may have to scratch off my list; I don’t exactly think rookies should be in an intermediate class, let alone try to come off as they belong. With that said, I’m pensive about one and two: deeply troubled, actually. I’m a diehard believer in respect, because respect is the foundation on which society was built. While I may not like certain institutions, I respect them because they came before me, and I aim to become an institution to be respected. Jared and Keri do not understand this concept. When a teacher asks us to do something in order, we do it as asked; if not, the teacher has a right to fail us. If someone tries to show you how the flow of the atmosphere is supposed to proceed, you don’t blow them off if they have intricate knowledge of the matter. The most beautiful thing involves learning, learning, and learning. There is never a moment where we can stop learning, and in order to learn, we have to respect the source.

If not, then when I become the institution, I will not hesitate in showing those people the “respect” they deserve. Skibbedebebop. Much later.

Current Track – Goo Goo Dolls “Full Forever”

Conspiracy of One: Sleeping Like a Bat

Crown me king for the moment, and I just might retire into the night, just as fate intended. Considering my unworldly ability to pinpoint information I crave in seconds, I wonder how did this game become so…easy. I want to know a fact, I instantly know how to obtain it. It grows rather unfulfilling if you stare down a blitz and know that you’ll trip the guy coming to sack you. In the old days, I’d scramble away, progressing to the point where I can just stand here, stick my foot out, tap the defender on the head with my ball, and find my slot receiver in the end zone.

I realize that my thoughts are for the world’s eyes only; it’s odd reading someone else’s thoughts that are on display as well. Not per se a kindred spirit, but someone I just met and now have a great insight into her life. I thought she may not have been on my level of thought due to the way our conversation was mired in syntax errors; I was wrong. Her writing style is reminiscent of mine minus the sobriety and self-assurance that would draw instant heat in the real world. I believe the word she used to refer to me was “stalker”. Fitting, she’s only known me for one day and has figured out that I’m a detective.

Reading someone else’s life makes me put mine in perspective; after all, I have roughly five years worth of stuff here. The good times are there, like Comic-Con and my poetry reading, and so are the bad times, like finding Emma was dating Ryan Umbenhaur. Come to think of it, there were a shitload of bad times, but I sustained myself with the constant belief I’d somehow dominate everyone in a few years. Needless to say, I’m way ahead of schedule…so far in fact, I continually outdo myself beyond reasonable belief. I don’t have to believe in myself to pass through a situation; I merely have to stop myself from overshooting my goals.

So it’s fun to hear about someone boozing and whatnot half a country away. Of course, it makes me skeptical to see if this person has any potential…like the others that have come and gone. Again, going through my posts, or maybe not so much, I think of the girls I’ve pursued.

Stacy Calderon – Tried to impress her with language skill, the whole class ends up wanting my tutelage.
Laura Robinson – Displayed speech to win her over, instead, the whole class stands in awe.
Kiersten Stadelmann – Not really a pursuit, but I tried to impress her; the whole class laughs uncontrollably.
Katelyn Ciarelli – Being an expert in a beginner’s class should afford you more than a partner’s good grade.

Each time, my aim is in an academic setting: I’m a sucker for learning. While I seek a female companion, the classroom is not hospitable to my demands. I end up drawing everyone’s collective attention (including the instructor), but my triumph is unintentional. I pass the class in remarkable fashion, but I fail the course I aspired to stay. I only spoke up in my ethics class to impress a couple of girls, but the only one I impressed was the teacher. The rest of the class hated me, so I took out my frustration on them by saying they’d be sacrificed if my will was to be done.

This is basically it. Why do I write? Because I’ve the fingers of a deity. Now, I must continue analyzing her strengths and weaknesses; after all, I am still on the prowl. Skibbedebebop. Much later.

Current Track – Kurt Angle “Gold Metal”

Conspiracy of One: Scheduled for One Fall

People have the ability to choose their destiny if they realize it promptly. In the same breath, people can also predict the destiny of others with sufficient observation. Jordan and I conducted an experiment on the subject using a yearbook, and voila, you hear unflattering news a year later. Our fates lie within the choices we make.

With that said, work was pretty unusual in the sense that everyone I worked with saw it coming. Some people are conflicted. Some, I suspect, are overjoyed. I fall into neither category; rather, I saw it coming and I’ll proceed like business as usual. When I received the call this morning to conduct business as usual, I thought I’d be on the wrong end of the line.

To my complete ironic surprise, I was given Partner of the Month, and a new barista to train. How ’bout them apples?

Shooting down the end my day would be the last five minutes of work. Someone makes a snippy comment to me, I respond even snippier, which leads to me getting a lecture. Considering the circumstances (as in, no one remarked about what the other person said) and the fact that I had been asked by the lecturer to switch with the offender a day previous, I am a bit unhinged. Thus, when it came to reconciliation time, I decided to stick with current Godhand policy and decline entertainment. Straining relationships will ensue, I’m sure, but I don’t have to pay dues for services I provide.

Another thing, my mother mentioned something to me about being a preacher. A former dream, yes, but these days, I’d most likely go to hell if I became a minister due to the controversy I’d cause. I know for a fact Southern Baptists would crucify me…that is, unless I burned them at the stake first. Valentine’s Day shortly, must prepare date. Skibbedebebop. Much later.

Current Track – Lostprophets “Rooftops”

Conspiracy of One: To Screw

Looking forward to next semester, despite schedule misgivings. I was aiming to eliminate a decent portion of my Communications degree, but it was not to pass. In the end, I figured out a way to salvage a Political Science course, but I’d like to add one more class so I can push my luck to 17-18 units.

Not necessarily excited about dorm life; not necessarily depressed about it, either. Staying at home has allotted me a new toy in the form of a bed. It looks great, and I must classify it as comfortable, even in couch form. I’ve gotten used to the dark curtain decor, provided I don’t mind sleeping in late.

Work, on the other hand, plagues me. I’m not sure if I’ll stay in El Segundo, or take my chances out there where I reside. Ten hours last Sunday was a bitch. No lie, it was a bitch. Then, for Nicole to not acknowledge it makes me even more uncharacteristically distrustful. Like hell, a simple apology would work wonders. Then again, I can’t get that, because it’d be too easy. On the other end of the spectrum, I get a rookie telling me that the store can be closed without the prefect. I used to like her spunk, but I grew rather tired of it all. In short, I humble my followers, but I embarrass dissidents; the difference between the two is whether a lesson was learned.

My mother’s license plates are back, and I can’t wait to apply them to her car. There’s something about the attitude a vanity plate ignites. Reminder: must go buy second vanity frame for my own car.

Other reminder: must stop being single. Skibbedebebop. Much later.

Current Track – Marie Digby – “Spell”

Conspiracy of One: Charging to San Diego

School starts in a fortnight, and I haven’t truly done anything that would make people say “wow.” Between work and work, I’ve done nothing. However, a chance visit by a couple of former co-workers prompted me to do something crazy:

Drive two hours to San Diego for a three hour party after work.

I went, and I had fun. Girls in San Diego are quite the interesting breed: smart, enthusiastic, and most importantly, not bitchy. In an environment where I knew two people, I salvaged a great experience. At first, I was down on myself because the girls didn’t seem to be biting; Aaron Horning decided it’d be funny to just jump behind two random girls, even though he had a girlfriend. Sure enough, it worked, and that was the shot of confidence I needed. A few more girls came and went, and my night was done. One girl made a funny comment, noting my moves are not typical of anyone from San Diego. What can I say? I’m not from San Diego. The only downer of the party was that John Lear was not allowed in…that pissed me off. We would’ve cracked bad jokes all night.

I camped out at Aaron’s apartment afterwards, where I froze my ass off. However, I was able to catch the breathtaking beauty of UC San Diego. It is truly a beautiful campus worth a two hour drive. Speaking of which, I put 200 miles on my car in less than a day. I love the open road, and an iPod that carries thousands of tracks. Skibbedebebop. Much later.

Current Track – Kid Rock “Forever”

Conspiracy of One: The Beginning Ends With a Close

I begin this year as I’ve begun many previously: searching for answers, disgruntled with work, too many successes, but one glaring misstep. Existentialist bullshit, I’m sure, but it’s all I have for the night, possibly the rest of the year.

Last night, I concluded business with Katherine. By concluded, I mean we came to terms why we grew apart. She’s a real sharp cookie, probably the only girl I did scout correctly, although I didn’t scout…much, anyway. It turns out we were nothing more than glorified conversation buddies. We both got what we wanted in the end; she received talking, and I had company. Was that truly what we wanted? There couldn’t possibly be anything more I wanted, could there? No. A fitting demise to…conversation.

Work damn near killed me. In a span of one day, I spent two-thirds of it at work. I feel broken, weak, and used…like a bad condom. Probably made of sheepskin, even though in reality, I’m disguised in blackface. Am I a star in some glorified minstrel show? That fits the ticket. I want a girlfriend. I want free time. Most importantly, I need to stay focused.

This year is off to one positively killer start, no? Skibbedebebop. Much later.

Current Track – John Lennon “How Do You Sleep?”