Conspiracy of One: Idiots on Christmas

The holidays are by far my least favorite time of year. I can’t stand the merriment, the false charity, and seeing noble trees being bastardized by ludicrous ornaments. But I’m not the Grinch. I just can’t buy into the holiday that has been so radically commercialized. That, and I’m single. No mistletoe for me. Blast.

Christmas was bittersweet; I opened my presents in the morning, went to work in the afternoon. I can say I dig what I received: underwear, Nas’ latest album, and Superman Returns. On top of that, I received plenty of the green paper that makes the world go around. However, there was a negative side: going to work.

It seems like people can be real assholes on Christmas day. Why the hell do you come to Starbucks on Christmas anyway? Did you hear from a bird that I might be having a semi-decent day? If that’s the case, no wonder why you flipping customers were there to piss me off. Also, the day before…the horror, the horror. Who comes to a store that is obviously closed? THE LIGHTS ARE OFF, DAMN IT; WHAT’S SO HARD TO COMPREHEND? We have families lives, too; being at Starbucks to serve your insignificant whims isn’t on top of the totem pole. Assclowns. However, it was very pleasurable locking the door in a customer’s face after she called to enquire about closing time. I told her point blank that if she didn’t show up in eight minutes, she’d be out of luck. She showed up eight minutes, thirty seconds later. Haha. I’m not a bad person; I just get a kick out of others’ misfortunes.

Which is why I was without power for the whole day yesterday. It was dark, cold, and hell, I still haven’t eaten. Oh well. Do I dare disturb the universe? Of course.

Speaking of disturbing the universe, Stephanie called me on Christmas night. Finally, someone intelligent to converse with…hell, she was the only person from the school that called. I guess that serves as motivation to get my doctorate and gloat. May peace come to fruition on Earth, my sister stop mooching from my wallet, and the world quake when I disturb that peace for which I had wished. Skibbedebebop. Much later.

Current Track – Nas “Black Republican”


Conspiracy of One: Qualms of a Prototype

Now, if I had common sense, I’d be done with this topic already. Hell, I should be done with this…I’m better than this. I am the Prototype, for Pete’s sake. But something got me thinking about her recently, and all it takes is a couple of pictures…

For unknown reasons, I have the Prom group shot as my desktop background, because well, I looked great, I was with my best friend, and well, Christine was there. I keep it in a place that I’ll always see, because I usually don’t look at pictures on my wall. I was hunting for some extra keys atop the entertainment center, and there, I saw the picture of us. Beautiful picture, sad significance.

With that said, pictures proved it happened. So if Christine doesn’t like it (or specifically, me), what did she do with her pictures? I have so many questions, yet I’ll never get the chance to ask. Well, at least I can script my dramedy on the CW in the meantime. Something tells me it’s far from the truth, however.

Skibbedebebop. Much later.

Current Track – Hootie and the Blowfish “Hold My Hand”

Conspiracy of One: The Sno-Cone Mirage

Yep, my hair is now the color of a blue sno-cone. It’s beautiful, really. The dark blue on top fades as it descends, or something like that. I use it as my weapon of choice to stun people. At this stage in the game, however, I’m not exactly sure how many people I can surprise.

Hanging out with Lionel is a drag. I want to inhale a cigarette when I’m around him. On the other end of the spectrum, he’s the only person from the high school who’ll talk to me. Fuck.

Christine still won’t acknowledge my existence. It pains me when I see her that she’ll act like I’m not there. I’m not a saint, but I’m damn sure not the devil. What did I do wrong that she feels is unforgivable? I wish I knew. Hell, kinda makes me go back to Prom and remember how much time and money spent on making it a fun night. It’s depressing when you know she’s there, yet you can’t begin to grasp the situation. Yet I still defend her to anyone who’ll listen. Damn emotions. It was much easier when I didn’t give a shit about society; now that I do, well…yeah. I seriously want this to be over. However, that can’t happen unless someone makes a connection, and I don’t know how much more time I can will myself to victory.

Am I doomed to be single forever? These days, it seems like only leverage keeps me from being totally in the dark.

Current Track – Nas “Ether”